With Johnny Depp, Michelle Pfeiffer, Helena Bonham Carter, Eva Green, Jonny Lee Miller, Jackie Earle Haley, Bella Heathcote, Christopher Lee, Alice Cooper
Written by Seth Grahame-Smith & John August (based on the TV series by Dan Curtis)
Directed by Tim Burton
The king of strange adds his Gothic eye to another Depp team-up. Having never seen the (mid-'60s) TV show on which it's based, it may have lost some of its back-story appeal, but on the whole the comedic slant didn't sit too well for me. Burton is known for his humour, sure, but it just seemed a touch hammed in this tale of a trapped vampire unleashed in the modern '70s (the silly fish-out-of-water routine expected). In 1757, after being cursed by Angelique (a servant and spurned lover), wealthy son Barnabas Collins is turned into a vampire and trapped in a coffin.
At times Jack Sparrow filters through Depp's portrayal of Barnabas, while the sumptuous Pfeiffer is what milf dreams are made of (and its great to see her on screen again). Bonham Carter never disappoints, here as the boozing psychiatrist. Since Trainspotting I haven't seen Jonny Lee Miller in much, but Hammer Horror fans will relish Christopher Lee's cameo (albeit as a fisherman). Rock legend Alice Cooper plays himself in an extensive performance scene wrapped around his classic epic song Ballad Of Dwight Fry. Other '70s soundtrack tunes including The Moody Blues, Iggy Pop, T. Rex, The Carpenters and a Barry White song as backing for the dumbest scene in the movie of a furniture destroying vampire sex scene. Obviously Danny Elfman supplies signature score music.
3 / B
5 - Blistering
4 - Hot
3 - Smolder
2 - Room Temperature
1 - Fizzled
0 - Extinguished